Monthly Archives: November 2016

$7

UPDATE: We just added everyone’s donations to Dr. Monje’s page for Katherine.

GoFundMe $297.16

PayPal $319.62

Venmo $31

Monje’s Page $665

Total raised today $1,313

Total raised as a whole $5,524

Thank you everyone! I’ll keep sharing. 🙂

#KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #Forever7 #LovesAndKisses

Everyone, even the poorest person I know, could donate $7 to a fund that would help cure Katherine’s cancer. $7… it’s a couple cups of coffee, a stocking stuffer, one less drink at the bar, an appetizer, a pack of chap sticks, two gallons of gas. To save a life. A child’s life. We won’t even notice the $7 when it’s gone. I noticed when Katherine was gone. I notice it every second of every day. If all of Katherine’s followers donated just $7 we would already have reached our 100k goal. I’m feeling a little disheartened. I know it’s not for lack of caring. I know everyone is so busy. So am I. I get it. I just wish I could do more to help Dr. Monje’s lab, the kids currently suffering, and cure DIPG. #KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #Forever7
https://my.supportlpch.org/fundraise?fcid=747343 
Monje Lab: https://my.supportlpch.org/KatherinetheBrave

Venmo: @Jaime-King-1 or 7148144090 or jaimerieck@yahoo.com

PayPal: www.paypal.me/katherinethebrave

GoFundMe: http://gofundme.com/KTBCOL

Mail: Jaime King, 4350 Von Karman Ave Ste 225, Newport Beach, CA 92660

Tragedy

Every once in a while I sit and I think about recent events. Pondering what we’ve struggled with the past year and a half. Then it hits me… My child died in my home, in my living room, in my arms. How does that happen in this day and age? It’s so surreal it almost seems unreal. But it was real. She was our baby. She was here. She was alive. A living, breathing, blessing to all of us. And now she’s gone. Cancer stole our baby from us. There will be no more Happy Holidays. No joyous winter. Warm summers. Uninterrupted joy in our hearts. Her suffering and our loss will forever be a stain on our existence. Why? Well, because we’ve been brainwashed to believe that this is acceptable. Families fighting for their children’s lives and some children not making it is a tragedy, but not tragic enough. We get more angry over a wild monkey being shot, a testy presidential election, or impatient Black Friday shoppers trampling their own stupid selves. Cancer kills more of our children annually than any terrorist event I’ve ever heard about. But our children. Our babies. That doesn’t shock us. Or at least it doesn’t shock us enough to support their life saving research. Well, I’m shocked now. Complete and utter shock. I’m guilty too. Or I was. My baby is a result of our lack of attention to these real issues. My lack of attention. That’s the “real” tragedy we all face. Our lack of concern… it’s tragic. The biggest tragedy of them all.
Sorry, just feeling out loud. And I’m angry.
We miss you Katie baby. Happy Thanksgiving wherever you are. Whatever you’re feeling, know we love you, and we are so very sorry. Loves and Kisses baby, and See You Next time. #KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #LovesAndKisses #NotOK #MoreThanFour #Forever7 #PleaseShareKatherinesStory

MCT Oil

Found an old bottle of MCT oil yesterday. I stopped and stared. Remembering the many, many stressors of Katherine’s food struggle. For her, and I. That one bottle, so high up and pushed so far back was one of the most important things to me during Katherine’s struggle. It had a place on the counter with everything else. It was going to give me more time, put more life into my child. Now it’s forgotten, it didn’t work… like all truths it’s there now, conjuring up sad memories. That you can’t wish away. This post reminds me of those feelings of desperation. The lack of hope and time we were dealing with. Poor Katherine.
#IAmTankfulForMemories Even the bad ones. I suppose they are all we have this year. Many folks have moved on. I am forever here. In that moment. Staring at my dying child. Frozen. #KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #LovesAndKisses 

https://www.facebook.com/KatherineTheBrave/photos/a.978338928874299.1073741829.971052289602963/1048637698511088/?type=3

Dreams

I woke up twice last night. Both times crying. So hard I wasn’t breathing… I normally take a small dose of something to help me sleep. You know, to be able to fall asleep at all. After being awake pretty much for an entire year, it helps… My sleep patterns were every two hours, sometimes a little more, for so long. When Katherine was declining, sleep wasn’t necessary. My body took hold and fought it, subconsciously. I was able to step back from the edge, and be there for my daughter, and breathe. Thank you body… I tried to be so strong for her. I don’t know if she felt it, but I did my best. I tried so hard baby… 

In my last dream, Katherine was trying to find me. She was in a chair in front of me, and me behind her. I was in between sleep and awareness at this point. Up until that moment, I was doting, holding her, once while she was dying. Again. Another while she was searching for something. Trying to help her. But here I was. Somewhat aware that I was dreaming. This was just a dream, and suddenly I became aware of this. And her, facing the other direction, in front of me, in a chair, turning left, right, saying, “Mommy… I want to play Legos. I’m stronger now. Can we play Legos.” Left and right she looked. My first thought was YES! They are in the bags… We have some Legos that we bought, remember, the princess castle on the beach. They are in the bags, the bags I packed after you died… Then I froze. A wave washed over me. I realized it was a dream, and my world fell apart suddenly… I froze and stared. The tears coming down so fast now. Indecision… If I wake up now, if I cry too hard, it will not be real. If I stay here, I will be lying to myself. I felt selfish for wanting to stay in that dream, and take her time when she should be free and happy. I’ve always been one to not bullshit myself in life. I don’t like falsities, and I fight them every day. So I left… I backed away, she called me again.. “Mom, can we play Legos…” I kept backing way, until I woke up crying. I just stared at the walls for several minutes and fell apart again. David walked over, and hugged me for a long time. In silence. What can he say, there is nothing.

 

This is so sad. This life is so meaningless right now. I am keeping myself busy. Maybe so busy I don’t deal with things as I should. This is how I’ve always been, and my only recourse. I’m turning up the volume so loud that I can’t think about the things that matter too much to me. I’m filling the lack of color in my life, with other things to hide its dullness. In reality I’m hiding from the realism of it all. It’s crushing me…swallowing me whole… stealing my soul. I’m so sorry Katherine. I miss you so much. I am so sorry. I’m just so sorry.

 

#KatherineTheBrave

#DIPG

#LovesAndKisses

#KatherineDeservedMoreThanFour

#PleaseShareKatherinesStory

Katherine deserved more than me

I pause when I see them. I focus and wonder what it would be like. She would be out there with you, I say. Playing. Smiling. Laughing. She was amazing. Just like you. She was just like you… I struggle to let these moments go. I do little things to keep them close to me longer. Want a coke? Can I buy more of your jewelry? Can I hug you goodbye? I feel heartbroken when they do pass. As they must. With their goodbyes, and prayers to the sweet friend they never met in heaven. I lose myself emotionally, when I meet a child close to 7 years old. I am forever stuck at this age of 7. She is forever frozen as a 7 year old to me. I will never know anything more than that of her 7 years. She deserved more than 7. She deserved more than me. #Forever7 #KatherineDeservedMoreThan4 #KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #LovesAndKisses Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KatherineTheBrave/posts/1330842770290578:0 Instagram: https://instagram.com/p/BM2wCauAlOe/

Gone

#KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #LovesAndKisses 
I miss you Katherine. We will never be the same without you. You cared so much for others. You always got so excited when your friends were happy. Your heart was bigger than all of ours put together. We could feel the joy you emitted by just watching you smile at others as they enjoyed life. 
You don’t realize how important a day, hour, minute, or moment is until it’s gone. She is gone. Our center is gone. It feels like we are starting over. It’s so very strange.
#GoneToSoon #ThisIsDIPG #IWantToGoBack #OneMoreHug

Beach Wedding

Katherine was finally able to be a small part of a Belize wedding today in her pretty pink dress, tiara and rainbow socks. She wanted so badly to be a part of a wedding on this beach. She wanted us to enjoy ourselves and she wanted to see us happy here to. We are trying Katherine. Every minute of every day, as hard as it is, we are trying… #KatherineTheBrave #Belize #LovesAndKisses #DIPG #BeachWedding #PrettyInPink #RainbowSocks #ThankYouBrideAndGroom