Monthly Archives: December 2016

Cancer Fighter

Maybe George Lucas should have made a movie about a 7 year old cancer fighter, who fights the Dark Side cancer cells with her Jedi mind strength… While being poisoned from the inside out with chemo, injected by evil ruthless imperial fighters. In the background, the Death Star, taking all of the funding that could save her people, her fellow cancer fighters. Yet, she fought on. Given no hope… She battled every day to get up, to smile, to wave and say, “Good bye, see you next time. Loves and Kisses!”. All while being injected, poked and prodded. Caught, imprisoned, used as an experiment with drugs and anti-drugs, radiation, exposes’. Yet, she fought on. As her smile paled, and her spirit faded, she fought on in an effort to ease the pain of those around her. Her fellow family of fighters still by her side, pushing back the offensive, to save the princess, and to keep her alive. Her one last battle, she pulls out her weapon… and lays it down. Her warriors have given up, so she has no choice. We were her only hope… and we failed her.
My real life warrior princess. Where is the outrage over Katherine’s death. Or the 7 other children who will die every day from cancer. The 48 children diagnosed every day and told they may die too. Given no hope. Where are the tweets, and crying emoticons over that? We are complacent, and complacency is as evil as Darth Vader, and steals our common sense and humanity. 
You must unlearn, what you have learned… – Yoda
#KatherineTheBrave

#KatherineTheLegend

#DIPG

#PleaseShareKatherinesStory

#LovesAndKisses

Merry Christmas Eve

Miss you Katherine. You were having so much fun this time last year. So excited to open your gifts. So excited to see what santa would bring. I’m so confused and distraught. I’m trying to outwardly be strong but inside I’m seriously consumed. I’m not sure what to do anymore. My mental state is distracted. I hope you’re having fun baby. I hope you’re watching over us and know how much we miss you and wish you were here. We will never be the same. Holidays will never be the same. I will never be the same. Emotionally I’m hanging on a thread. Physically I’m falling apart. (sob) #KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #lovesandkisses #rainbowsocks)

Dreams

I saw Katie in my dreams. She was so angry with me. I had left her somewhere along a walk to a play, with her friends. It was a mixture or urban city development. Confusing twists and turns, and streets that run back into each other a few blocks from where they divide. After searching for her through the streets aimlessly, we saw each other. I yelled, and ran to her, and she ran to me, opened armed, crying, suddenly gaunt and weak. “You turned your head on me!” Still running to me, as if even in my neglect I was her only source of comfort. I woke up at that moment. I’m shaking and out of breath. My goodness, it’s never good when I see her. There is no comfort for me in my dreams. these awful instances just solidify the guilt already seeping within my psyche. She was so scared. My last words to her, “I’m so sorry baby. I’m so, so sorry.” Similar to life. Why can’t my dreams be peaceful and unlike my life. More like a dream.
We needed more time. There was more I had to say to you sweet Katherine… I would have made it all up to you. I promises…
#KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #LovesAndKisses #SeeYouNextTime #KatherineTheLegend

Fundraiser

I’m considering starting a car sticker fundraiser. Would anyone be interested in purchasing a sticker to spread #DIPG awareness and #KatherineTheBraves’s story? If so, like this or comment. If I get a good response I’ll start it right away! It would be a very good way to spread awareness and get more funding. A death sentence for other kids, like my Katherine, might turn into hope. Let me know! #PleaseShareKatherinesStory

Tori

Tori works with some of the most kindest people out there. I always felt that they were lucky to have her, but now I know that she is also lucky to have them. Tori’s boss and a coworker Susie called her into their office and handed her a picture canvas of her and Katherine. They knew she was feeling down about Christmas without Katherine, our home not being festive, and the funk we are all in. She cried. She cried on the phone with me. She cried when she came home and showed me. We miss you terribly Katherine. Merry Christmas sweet baby. #MerryChristmasLittleSister #SuperSibling #KatherineTheBrave #DIPG

Let it snow…

“The fire is slowing dying, but in here we’re still goodbye’ing. As long as you love me so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…” Her favorite time of year. My heart is crushed. Every day the vise is tightened. I miss you Katherine, and I’m so sorry. #KatherineTheBrave #DIPG #Circa2013​

​https://www.facebook.com/KatherineTheBrave/videos/1376472699060918/

Fear of Dying

Throughout Katherine’s illness, she had an innate fear of dying early. This came out of nowhere, almost as if she knew, but was never told she would die soon. She told me frequently that she didn’t want to go to heaven alone. She expressed in many ways her fear of being there, without her mommy, daddy, and sisters. I would just sit and stare at her when she would say these things, no words coming to me. I would look around for help often, from the others in the room, no one could ever say anything. How do you answer to a 7 year old terminal patients fear of dying. We all would think that what we would say would be right, or benefiting, but none of it was. Even she knew that this awkward shift in the tides was not normal. That we should be going before her, so that she could meet us wherever we go next after she lived a full, and complete life, as we have… I’m sorry Katherine, and I agree… You should not have had to leave us alone, nor had those fears of death, and loneliness. You my sweet child deserved so much more time… #katherinethebrave #dipg #morethanfour #defeatdipg