Peacock

In this photo Katherine had so much anxiety caused by the radiation she was still receiving. The steroids and Avastin didn’t help. Her body wasn’t hers anymore. She was very upset, it was hot, mom was stressed, and it was a long drive. She cried and wanted to be held for an impossibly long time. And I just wanted to get it over with. Everything was so wrong, and this photo shoot seemed like the right idea, and it was turning into a disaster. The sweet lady taking the photos tried so hard to make her smile show through the camera. We were struggling. Big time. But here… she was distracted. She made us all stop. She saw a peacock casually strolling. She locked eyes on it and stayed that way for an oddly long time. Soaking it in. She always saw the beauty in things so calmly. She never ran towards or shared what she was thinking. She just kept it all to herself. She was probably enjoying its beauty, and recognized its freedom, wishing it was her, and that she could leave this new constrained life. Little did she know that she was yet to spread her feathers and be beautiful and amazing and teach us all so much. She was magnificent and more amazing than any peacock she could ever admire from afar. And I miss her so much. 😔💛🎗

I’m so sorry Katherine. I wish I could have done more. I wish I could have saved you. You deserved a real fight. You deserved a chance that you were not given. And for that I will never forget, I will fight, and I will regret this loss for the rest of my life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *