Holidays

The worst comes out in some people during the holidays… It’s sad to watch and read. But… it’s like a train wreck, you have to watch, and every once in a while I find myself wanting to type, “You have NO idea what real struggle is like…” Or, “You care about a design on a cup?” Or, “The speed at which I drive upsets you that much?” LOL! Not sure how to make it now that I have real problems, surrounded by so many that think they do. I skim past the posts, the ranting and raving over things such as this. I unfollow people all damn day long. The holidays make people self-righteous, as if they are owed something. My dear friend is watching her son die right now, exactly how we watched our daughter die, that’s a real problem. That’s a real struggle. The person inconveniencing you in the grocery line is not. 😞 I don’t understand it, and I can’t stand it. Maybe it’s not the actual issue itself, we all get irritated. Maybe its that its splashed all over social media, and the words are subject to scrutiny. I go to find the posts or blogs from people that are really hurting, or living, appreciating, and loving the real world. The ones that really suffer, and fight. The ones that didn’t suffer, and fight with us. The ones that counsel, or try too. Or the ones that just hear us, and care. The ones that THINK before they dig deep into their real thoughts and pull out the ugly. The ones that appreciate this existence. This is my new “real world” of judgement. I’m also here deciphering your decisions, and judging in a different way. There’s a lot more thought process involved in my reaction or responses then their used to be. I have more pity and sorrow for people now. I sit back and stare silently at the words or letters I’m observing. In shock… But I keep it to myself. So, this way I’m less bitter, and can block out the BS, and sink into myself. I don’t have to think negatively about the people I love and care about. Those that are so removed that they don’t see the big picture. It’s better for everyone, and I should have done it years ago… Thank you to my daughters for teaching me how to be real to myself, to not care about being different, or keeping things acceptable, or being the perfect friend, and to be better than that… to be me.

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