Daily Archives: February 12, 2018

Can you see it?

Do you see it? This is four months before diagnosis… Do you see it in her eyes? I didn’t. She was already dying here. Before we even had a chance to begin a fight. Her tiny immune system and brain already giving up, and being taken over. Devastating…

This was the day I taught her how to string dandelions into a necklace and headbands. There was so much more to teach… She wanted to know everything her sisters knew. Instead I ended up teaching her how to handle the pain of injections from hundreds of needles, to hold her head still for radiation and MRI’s that took hours, and to stay still while I suctioned her throat so it didn’t hurt so badly. For us both… it hurt so much.

Do you see it now? I do… Like a glaring bright red prong spiraling towards my head. I wish everybody had this vision, way before it’s too late. And time is lost. Like our time. So much time was lost…