Daily Archives: October 22, 2015


In a world of school, family, sports, insecurity and growth, some kids have the additional added stress of a siblings cancer diagnosis. And, even more, some of them have the additional added diagnosis of terminal cancer. Cancer’s bad enough, right? Us adults are stronger then we think. We will push through these diagnosis’ for our children. We will think we are going to break, and will be unsure if we can handle it, we will fall apart and pick back up. We do handle it, we will in the end always. But what about our “other” kids. #SuperSiblings or #SiblingsOfCancer often respond with a range of emotions. Some good, and some bad. I would guess that most are scared to death, harbor emotions of guilt and anger, and probably keep their feelings in knowing that the family is a powder keg waiting to blow. Adults have had a much longer lifetime to handle these sorts of stressors, but kids are just learning to handle their own bodies and emotions, let alone handling the news that their sister or brother will die, or could die. So after this horrible diagnosis, they have the additional problem of two parents who can’t do the things they used to do, who can’t focus on them as they once had, who can’t enjoy the time as they once did. These kids are forced to divide up what little time they have with their friends and family, and what little emotional strength they have, and add in a completely new factor to their crazy growing lives. Fundraising, chemo, hospitals, doing things alone, arranging rides here and there, trying to stay normal. Normal. Parents often have no choice but to focus more on the child suffering, then those who are still living and so very alive and dealing with the same pain they are. I know my kids, for that matter, are hiding it well. I’ve called the schools, district, counselors, principles, teachers, coaches, and let them all know that this was going on. I’ve met with most of them as well, in person. They have all been amazing, and helpful. Although, there is only so much they or I can do for our Siblings of Cancer. This is a time when, my kids in particular as teenagers, do not share emotions and tend to keep stuff in, and will not accept the help. I’m fine mom… We’ve all heard it. Well, I’m still hearing it, and I know it can’t possibly be true. It’s a worrisome situation, and I suspect PTSD is a common concern or following factor in relation to these types of situations. Tori’s in her senior year, and Alissa started her nursing career this year, and I’m missing so much of it. It’s heart breaking. It’s something I think of constantly and it rips me apart inside. Every time they need me and I can’t be there, or they say it’s ok mom, or they do anything that I have to miss, something I hadn’t missed before, I feel more sorrow and guilt. More guilt. Well, I wanted to share this with everyone. Reading this essay from Tori made me cry. She cried when she read it to us. She knows we love her, that’s what matters, right? Though, I don’t anticipate the effects of this diagnosis leaving her soul for the rest of her life. We are all eternally changed and affected. And I believe these teenagers that have to deal with these pressures and diagnosis’ of their siblings at such a young age may suffer more than any of us. And then again, it may make them stronger, hopefully… I am sorry #ToriTheBrave and #AlissaTheBrave, I will always be here for you, to comfort you if needed. Love, #MommaTheBrave



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