Daily Archives: September 30, 2016

Forever 7

Tomorrow is Katherine’s Celebration of Life. It’s a day when those that loved and followed Katherine’s journey will go to a party filled with the stuff of Katherine’s dreams. To celebrate her. Remember her. Talk about her. Her presence will be felt, I’m sure. 
Tomorrow we will say goodbye to our daughter. Our precious 7 year old child. She was flesh, and blood. She was a human being who deserved a life of happiness and struggles to manage in her own way. To grow into a personality of her own. Instead she was diagnosed with cancer and sent home on hospice to die. Any battle fought for her would be our battle. Alone. And we fought. 
David and I sat here tonight and cried. We stared at each other, broke down the last 12 years of our lives and tried to place all of the pieces into their slots. Nothing fits. If she was here we could see that perfect puzzle put together. Without her, nothing fits. After trying to grasp it all, again, David said something that I feel often but do not verbalize, “Was it all a dream…” we stopped and stared at each other again and cried harder. I spoke to Libby Kranz two weeks ago at Stanford and she said she felt the same way. “Was it real… Did this happen in reality to my child.” As hard as it sounds to believe, you literally, in that moment, have to reach for a token, a blanket, a toy, something of hers to remind yourself that she was real. To smell her again. Our brains can’t process this. Our minds body is not able to hold a child in them for 9 months, nurture them, love them, care for them, and watch them die slowly. We automatically assume it was not real. We want to believe it was just a dream. 
Well she was real… And she was robbed, and so were we. She deserved to be here and not to wither away with no hope or chance to live and love. She suffered a fate which she did not deserve. She deserved to have a fighting chance. She is forever 7. 
Tomorrow We will be Katherine’s parents. Momma and Daddy the Brave. We will be weak and broken on the inside. Strong and Brave on the outside. Just like Katherine. I knew many times she was falling apart, but she stayed strong and fought for us. And So we will fight for her. 
We are so sorry Katie Baby. We love you so much.