Daily Archives: December 14, 2016

Fear of Dying

Throughout Katherine’s illness, she had an innate fear of dying early. This came out of nowhere, almost as if she knew, but was never told she would die soon. She told me frequently that she didn’t want to go to heaven alone. She expressed in many ways her fear of being there, without her mommy, daddy, and sisters. I would just sit and stare at her when she would say these things, no words coming to me. I would look around for help often, from the others in the room, no one could ever say anything. How do you answer to a 7 year old terminal patients fear of dying. We all would think that what we would say would be right, or benefiting, but none of it was. Even she knew that this awkward shift in the tides was not normal. That we should be going before her, so that she could meet us wherever we go next after she lived a full, and complete life, as we have… I’m sorry Katherine, and I agree… You should not have had to leave us alone, nor had those fears of death, and loneliness. You my sweet child deserved so much more time… #katherinethebrave #dipg #morethanfour #defeatdipg